Live Full Walk Free + Giveaway

Part of our passion at The {K}not Project is helping our dearest friends through hard spots in their marriages. It's not that we have all the answers (far from it!), but we do have compassion, listening skills, and great faith that God can do the impossible within marriages. Through our own story of brokenness and despair, we saw God work in an amazing, powerful way and this fuels our intense hope for other couples who are in their own dark places.

Our friend, Cindy, is sharing part of her story today.

Cindy was once a lonely, rejected, single mom addicted to cocaine. She lived an empty, self-defeating, rebellious lifestyle until the amazing day Jesus set her free! She is now a married mother of 4 and this summer marked her 20th anniversary of being cocaine-free. 

Cindy’s newest Bible study, Live Full Walk Free: Set Apart in a Sin-Soaked World released in December as part of the Inscribed Series at Thomas Nelson. In this journey through 1 Corinthians, Cindy equips women to live a set-apart life for Christ in our sin-soaked world. 

Here's more of her story:

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When Your Marriage is a Mess

This summer my marriage hit a road bump.

Again.

And not even a bump—more like a canyon. A Grand Canyon magnitude, we’re-not-gonna- survive-this sized canyon.

The nitty gritty details don’t matter. Let’s just say details were discovered that were “deal breakers” for me.

Instead of sunshine, warm walks, and ice cream, my summer was filled with counseling appointments, painful conversations, and sleepless, tear-stained nights.

I’m sad to share in the midst of the marriage mess and stress, my response was basically,

“Yep, I’m outta here. I’m done. Didn’t think this was how the “happily ever after” story was gonna go — but God, I. can’t. do. this.”

Marriage can be hard, can’t it, friend? 

Truth be told, sometimes marriage can be lonely, pain-filled and heartbreaking.

So when the pressures of marriage-life intensify, what do we do?

How do we withstand the heat?

I don’t have all the answers, but here’s what I’ve learned from what I now call “The Summer from “H-e-double hockey sticks”:

A – Always start with Jesus.

Acknowledge your pain to Him. Express your hurts and need for healing. Give your cares and concerns to the One who is our Healer, Redeemer, Wonderful Counselor and Faithful Friend.     

B – Believe what God’s Word says is Truth.

Spend time daily thinking God’s Truth-filled thoughts about your spouse and marriage. Here are some power-packed verses to get you started:

  • Ephesians 4:32—Be kind and tender-hearted to one another, and forgive one another, as God has forgiven you through Christ.
  • 1 Corinthians 13:7 —Love never gives up; and its faith, hope, and patience never fail. 
  • 1 Peter 4:8—Above everything, love one another earnestly, because love covers over many sins.
  • Luke 1:37—Nothing is impossible for God!

Our beliefs shape our behavior. The more we meditate on our mess, pain, hurt, and/or difficult circumstances — the more “the mess” intensifies. Let’s choose to think about and believe Truth.           

C – Call a faith-filled friend.

 Thankfully, in my miserable summer marriage mess, I called Jen Ferguson, my sweet Texas friend who has walked the hard path I was now journeying.

Through my sadness and tears, I rambled. I was raw. Then I awkwardly asked, “What do I do? I can’t even function. Tell me what to do.”

Jen’s six powerful words changed everything for me. You know what she said?

“Cindy, you need to forgive him…”

Please know this was the absolute last thing I wanted to hear. I wasn’t ready to forgive, nor did I want to. I was angry, devastated, shocked, and ready to punch something or somebody.

(Don’t worry, I didn’t punch anything. I just wanted to. J )

Forgive? Nope. No way.  Not gonna happen. I’d rather keep fuming. I had a right to be mad!

But I’m thankful Jen shared not what I wanted to hear, but what I needed to hear.

NOTE: Please know, Jen knew although I was broken-hearted, I was safe. If you are faced with circumstances in your life and you are not safe—physically or emotionally—please call a friend, counselor, church friend, or hotline for help. Promise?

God used Jen’s six Truth-filled words to help save our marriage. Literally.

Was forgiving John a process? Yes.

Did I need God’s strength to help forgive? Yes.

Were there days when I was still angry, and let John know I was angry and hurting? Yes. Yes.

But has God done a transformational work in my life, and brought new intimacy and healing to my marriage? Absolutely yes.

“Friends, when life gets really difficult, don’t jump to the conclusion that God isn’t on the job. Instead, be glad that you are in the very thick of what Christ experienced. This is a spiritual refining process, with glory just around the corner.” (1 Peter 4:12-13)

Marriage can be messy. But sometimes God does His most powerful work in the most unlikely of places.

May God remind you afresh today that you are not alone, even in the messes and stresses of marriage.  Look for His hand, sweet friend. He is with you!

 

We'd love to give you a chance to win this Bible study! Just leave a comment at the end of this post and we'll pick a random winner!

 

 

 

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With nearly 20 years of ministry experience, Cindy is a popular women’s speaker, author, and Bible teacher. But don’t let her cheerful smile fool you—Cindy has endured single parenting, overcome bondage to addiction, and survived tragic loss. Cindy lives in Michigan with her husband and their four kids. Most days you can find Cindy walking her beagle Rocky, attending one of her boys’ hockey games, or serving hot lunch at her kids’ school.

Live Full Walk Free: Set Apart in a Sin-Soaked World is a six-chapter journey through 1 Corinthians. A six-session DVD is also available providing additional teaching from Cindy to enhance your study. For a FREE chapter of Live Full Walk Free, a set of A-Z scripture cards, and other resources, visit Cindy’s blog here: http://www.cindybultema.com/live-full-walk-free/.