Taming Distractions: My Break-up Letter to Beer


Some of you are aware of the news about my health we received in July.  If you're not, before you assume the worst-case scenario, I’m fine.  It all started when I scheduled my annual physical this year in the hopes of getting a doctor’s note for our hot tub.  Yeah, feel free to laugh, but it saved us over $700 in taxes! 

I digress. 

The blood work came back with an elevated liver enzyme in the results.  After a retest and a sonogram, I was finally diagnosed with Non-Alcoholic Fatty Liver Disease.  Think of it as a pre-pre diabetes.  Needless to say, I wasn’t too thrilled about it.  The good news was I could get rid of it by losing weight, which is something I’ve been playing around with for years.

Another tidbit about me is that I love to do research.  Seriously, I need to find a job in which I can do that full time.  Me, a library, and a problem to solve?  Heaven.  During my research, I came across the Ketogenic Diet.  What is it the Ketogenic diet?  Well, if you take the normal American diet, it consists of a high intake of carbohydrates, a medium intake of protein and a low to medium intake of fat (or high if you eat out a lot).  The Ketogenic diet consists of a high intake of fats (focusing on the “good fats”), a medium intake of protein and low intake of carbohydrates.  This diet puts your body in ketosis where you body seeks out fat for energy instead of carbohydrates. 

It’s pretty restrictive, but when looking at the foods that I could eat versus the foods I couldn’t eat on the diet, I was thrilled. All I had to do was cut out the sugary stuff and the carbs. As I continued to scan down the list of accepted and barred foods, I came to the alcohol portion of the list. 

And that is when it hit me. 

Beer is NOT keto-friendly.  I was sad. Really sad.  But I’ve made the decision that my health is more important.  To borrow a phrase I heard once: “I love my life (and Jesus) more than beer.”  In discussing this with Jen, I thought it would be a fun way for me to process the grief by writing a break up letter to beer.  So here it is, for your enjoyment:

To my favorite brews,

Hey, I know I haven’t been around lately.  I’m sorry we haven’t hung out, but I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and I think we should stop seeing each other.  I know this is sudden and before you ask, I just want you to know: There’s nothing you could have done differently.  In fact, you’ve been great.  It’s just that I’ve been doing some soul searching and I’ve come to realize that our relationship isn’t healthy for me anymore.  I know it’s painful to hear.  It’s painful for me to write. But I think I owe it to you and myself to make a clean break.  We shouldn’t drag it out.  That won’t do either one of us any good. 

Do you remember when we first met?  My oldest best friend introduced us.  I told him that I didn’t want to have anything to do with you, but he was patient and made me a deal.  He said, “Just let me introduce you two.  Hang out this weekend.  If at the end of the weekend you still don’t like each other, then I’ll never bother you about it again.”  He knew we would hit it off.  We had a blast!  It was the start of a wonderful relationship. 

I think back to all of the good times we shared—football games, parties, quiet evenings with just the two of us. It was great.  But as I’ve gotten older, I realize that our relationship isn’t helping me reach my goal of being truly healthy.  Don’t get me wrong, I love hanging out with you, but I want to be healthy more.  And that’s why I have to break up with you.  I hope you can understand.    

Listen, I’m sure I’ll see you around with our friends.  After all, why would they NOT spend time with you just because of me?  But do me a favor, just be yourself.  Know that I’m trying to make myself better.  We’re both going to be better because of this.  I’m sure of it.  Take care and know that I’ll always cherish our time together. 


Any distractions in your life that are pulling you away from your health goals? To what would you write a break-up letter?

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