We all have several roles that we play in this life. Are you husband, wife, employee, brother, sister, friend? Are you a caretaker, a housekeeper, a social planner for your family? Are you a child of God, a missionary, a volunteer? How do you manage all of these roles and how do they shape your priorities?
And perhaps, the most important question is this: Is what you say is important backed by your actions?
Here's an opportunity to take a few quiet moments, list out your roles, put them in order of importance, and then ask your spouse if your life is reflective of that same order of importance.
We have a few tools for you to use if you like. The first is just a handy worksheet if you like systems and printables. The second is a little LOVE acronym that we came up with that helps us to remember how to speak and respond with love. It's easy to get defensive when our spouse points out less than favorable things about our lives. But one of the key purposes of marriage is to help us become better people. It's so much easier to grow, though, when your spouse points these things out without accusations or blame.
Just to recap:
1) Alone, write out your roles. Select the top 5 and order them.
2) With your spouse, talk about the priorities and ask each other if how you spend your time and brain space is reflective of the priorities you profess. If there is a disconnect, brainstorm some ways you can help make those rankings a reality. Address the roadblocks and how you might overcome them.
3) Sometimes, you'll disagree on what should be given a greater ranking. Don't let it turn into an argument. Instead, take some time to pray together and separately and ask God to show y'all how HE views the priorities and rankings.