Give Grace: When Your Spouse Isn't Exactly Who You Thought

We were so blessed by Katie and Adam's guest video and blog last week. They shared their wisdom about how they overcame unrealistic expectations in their marriage and gave us some practical advice on how we don't have to let them derail our relationship or breed bitterness and resentment.

This week, we are continuing this theme of giving grace when confronted with unrealistic expectations, but coming from a slightly different angle. What do you do when your spouse ends up being different than you expected? Here, we tackle the gambit—what to do when they fart more than you think they should all the way to addressing an addiction.

If you're viewing this via email, click here to watch the video.

Every rose really does have it's thorn—we all have behaviors that can prick our spouse. What we have to decide is this: Which of these thorns are just annoying and which of these are actually causing our relationship to lose life?

We all know that we can't force anyone to change, nor can we make changes for them. But does this mean we are powerless? Absolutely not. Part of the beauty of God's plan for marriage is that we would help shear off those rough edges and make each other better people. 

Tune in to hear what surprising things came Jen's way as God started working in Craig's heart. Oh, and at the end, we have a little surprise for you. Enjoy!

Going deeper: 

  • Talk with your spouse about the good changes you've seen them make over the history of your relationship. Reminisce over how far you each have come.
  • Begin praying for your spouse about a "thorny" issue that is causing harm in your relationship. Ask God to begin preparing your heart for what He will do and be willing to allow Him to make changes within you. As Jen said, "We can pray a whole lot about what we want our husbands or our wives to be and do, but we also need to ask God to change our heart and our perspectives."