10 Questions to Ask Yourself at the Beginning of a Relationship

You may wonder why I'm sharing this post with you since most of you are already married. But this post isn't just about questions to ask before you get involved in a romantic relationship. It's about 10 questions to ask before you get involved in any relationship. I will tell you this—I have gotten entangled in some toxic friendships and they wreaked havoc on my marriage for a number of reasons. If I had only known then what I know now.

Oh, hindsight.

Here's a little teaser for you and then you can hop over to iBelieve to read the rest.

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Would you believe it if I told you that once upon a time I was in a relationship where each one of my answers to these questions would have given me pause?

If I had asked them, that is.

In all honesty, I’ve had romantic relationships AND female friendships where if I really pondered these ten questions, it would have served me well and saved me from some very potent toxicity.

While it’s true that God wants us to love all people and show kindness to those who cross our paths, a deep, intimate relationship with all is not only impossible, but also detrimental.

If God leads us away from someone, we can trust there is good reason. How do you know? Here are ten places to start.

1) How do I see God moving in this relationship?

God desires us to have real connections with others. He also knows what it takes to create and keep healthy relationships. When you feel the desire to strengthen a particular relationship, it’s wise to check in with Jesus about it. We have limited time and energy and we want to steward it well, not only so we can be productive for the Kingdom, but also to avoid overextending ourselves. God also has the incredible advantage of knowing ahead of time which relationships will refine and improve us…and which ones will be devastating. When it seems a new relationship is on the horizon, talk with Him about it and be open to His wisdom. Is He giving you red flags or opening doors?

2) Do I recognize myself when I’m with him?

When we are particularly hungry for relationships, we can sometimes find ourselves morphing into who others want us to be instead of who God created us to be. There’s nothing wrong with trying on new personality aspects (we’re always changing), but we don’t want to feel like we’re wearing something that was never meant to fit. Sometimes, we won’t even notice this is happening, so listen with an open mind if others bring these changes to your attention.

To read questions 3-10, just click over here.