One Reason Why It's Hard to Be (Authentically) Kind

One Reason Why It's Hard to Be (Authentically) Kind

The more grace I see I need, the more grace I am able to extend. The more I allow myself to be loved and cared for, the more I am able to genuinely love and care for others.

I am wondering: Could this be true for kindness, too? If I don't believe I should be kind to myself, am I able to, with no strings attached, be kind to others? If I don't practice treating myself with kindness, do I really believe that being kind to others is truly valuable? Am I kind because I genuinely want to be, instead of just because the Bible tells me to be or because it's the "right thing to do?"

So much of these questions are rooted in my struggles about my worth. If I give into the lie that my worth is based on my work, it will be very difficult for me to devote time to be kind to myself. If self-kindness becomes a rewards-based system, I run the risk of telling myself I didn't do well enough or give enough to really deserve it. I will then just keep pushing myself, relentlessly. And if I believe that kindness must be meted out, weighed on an invisible scale, am I ever able to give to others freely? Without secretly keeping a record of my goodness or expecting something in return?

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