Marriage Meltdown: Busyness (Part 1)

Marriage Meltdown: Busyness (Part 1)

Busyness kills relationships. Why? Because real relationships take time, effort, and energy. If we are constantly busy and on the go, we won’t be able to give each other or our marriage what it needs.

We will be too tired. Amen?

After an exceptionally busy weekend, Craig and I started talking about what motivates both of us to get (and stay) busy. This is where we start. If we don’t know the heart behind our choices, our behavioral changes won’t stick.

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When You're Spouse is Being a Nightmare (new video)

When You're Spouse is Being a Nightmare (new video)

This week's video is no joke. I (Jen) was unable to find my way back to kindness. I was locked inside these old patterns of behavior, trying to please every single person around me—with the exception of Craig. At almost every turn, I felt so much like the apostle Paul when he wrote in Romans 7:15:

I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate.

At the end of the week, sitting in church today, the guest pastor summed it up so well, which we will tell you more about this week on the blog. For now, here's how Craig dealt with me and how his response to my craziness and ugliness helped me get back on the right path, headed in a much better direction.

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Marriage Takes FUN!

Marriage Takes FUN!

I've always been on the serious side. I've valued deep conversations, explorations of the soul, going to the hard places. This is what I thought made up a good, solid, real relationship. This was so important to me that I thought every time we had date night or a quiet, intimate moment alone that we had to have this kind of talk. And if we didn't, something was wrong or missing or disconnected. And if we were just silent? Silence was a killer. Silence (because of how I grew up) meant that we were angry and harboring resentment or that we had grown apart and had nothing to talk about.

You see now why I needed an entire year to just practice having FUN!? I went into marriage knowing it was going to take grit. What I didn't know was how fun would make the grit so much easier to put forth.

A focus on fun changed my life and my marriage in key ways. Here's what I learned:

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