10 Ways Porn Destroys a Person (& Jen's new writing gig)

10 Ways Porn Destroys a Person (& Jen's new writing gig)

So...I (Jen) got a new writing gig. And of course, the first post is about porn. 

It's a long story, but I got a nickname-Patty Porn. And for a while, before we published the book, I was afraid that I would be known simply as "The Girl Who Writes about Porn." 

But the truth is, I'm okay with all that. We don't always get to choose our mission field, but we do have the choice whether to embrace it or not.

This is me. Embracing.

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Podcast on Purity

Podcast on Purity

Craig and I have been publicly sharing our story for years. While there are many reasons, the two main ones are:

1) it really was awful going through porn addiction alone; and

2) it was really amazing to see how God used something so terrible to bring about something so lovely—true intimacy with God and with each other.

Okay, so there are really three reasons. 

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Are You Serving (Emotional) Leftovers?

Are You Serving (Emotional) Leftovers?

t's summer, my kids are often home, and I'm an introvert. As a family, we've endured intense grief recently with the loss of my grandmother and Craig's mom. My youngest daughter is trying out for dance company this year, so there is heightened anxiety in her. My friend's husband is dying and another friend's marriage is in crisis.

Daily, I feel my emotional capacity flows out of me and I long for space to recharge. Don't hear me wrong: I love helping my daughters process through hard things. I love helping my friends as well. But sometimes, when there is intense need with my girls and my friends, I can easily overdo. I can give more than I have and I end up living life out of some form of manufactured capacity.

Yesterday, Craig had a disappointing day at work. When he texted me that he was on his way home, I called him so he could process. His response? Can we talk about this when I get home?

I wanted to reply, No! I want to talk about it now so that I can be done talking for the day.

All I had left to give Craig were my emotional leftovers.

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Giving Grace: Chronic Illness

Giving Grace: Chronic Illness

We took a pause from our Giving Grace series, but we're back to it with two lovely people who are willing to share a bit about what it looks like to give grace in a marriage where one spouse has chronic illness. Please welcome Stacey and Ryan as they give us a glimpse into their journey together!

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Marriage Takes FUN!

Marriage Takes FUN!

I've always been on the serious side. I've valued deep conversations, explorations of the soul, going to the hard places. This is what I thought made up a good, solid, real relationship. This was so important to me that I thought every time we had date night or a quiet, intimate moment alone that we had to have this kind of talk. And if we didn't, something was wrong or missing or disconnected. And if we were just silent? Silence was a killer. Silence (because of how I grew up) meant that we were angry and harboring resentment or that we had grown apart and had nothing to talk about.

You see now why I needed an entire year to just practice having FUN!? I went into marriage knowing it was going to take grit. What I didn't know was how fun would make the grit so much easier to put forth.

A focus on fun changed my life and my marriage in key ways. Here's what I learned:

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Why Do I Have to Share my Stuff?

Why Do I Have to Share my Stuff?

How many of you are more willing to read a blog (not this one of course) or watch a video about how to solve a problem rather than ask someone else’s help?  Don’t worry.  I get it.  The Internet makes it easy to self-service.  

Need an answer to a question? Google it.  

Need to learn how to change a flat tire?  YouTube it.  

Want to learn how to better your sex life?  There’s a blog for that!  

I find it interesting that the medium that was built upon the principles of sharing ideas and building community seems to have the opposite effect on some of us.

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