The Necessity of Undoing

The Necessity of Undoing

I'm guest posting today over at a friend's place. Here's a little teaser with a link at the end where you can finish reading.

This has been a summer worthy of its own hashtag.

If I had the time or the desire, I’d go back through each sad event between May 8th and the day I posted about Irma’s projected path (because at press time, she hasn’t made it to the U.S.) and tag it #thesummerfromhellcontinues.

As I talked to my mentor via FaceTime today, she said, “You have been through trauma.”

I bristled.

Trauma? It's not trauma. Trauma is what people are experiencing after Harvey. Trauma is sexual abuse or the loss of a child. This is not trauma, I thought to myself.

And this attitude of mine comes a few days after talking to two different women about two different things and me telling them that God wants them to know their pain is valid. Their wounds are valid. It is okay, I said, for them to lament and cry and point to all the broken pieces and be sad. I actually, this morning, told one of them to not compare her wounds with someone else’s.

Therefore, I know what I am telling myself is not the truth. Is it not easy to speak the truth and then shut one’s own ears?

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The Meaning of Marriage: Chapter 5

The Meaning of Marriage: Chapter 5

It's no secret that we're behind on our original schedule for our The Meaning of Marriage book study. Life happens to us. It happens to you. But I am learning, even as painful as it can be, that life interrupted can still be a beautiful thing.

Take this morning as an example: Craig brought the book over to me and showed me a page from chapter 5. He pointed out the paragraph on page 152 (which actually starts on 151). 

"Which of these flaws describe me?"

His question was an invitation, one better than being invited to the ritziest of Christmas parties, not because I was gleeful about pointing out his flaws, but because he felt safe enough to ask me what they are.

To look your spouse in the eye and ask him/her to tell you what's wrong with you? That's a hard thing to do. The kicker is, he already knows what his flaws are. So why ask? Is he glutton for punishment?

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