10 Ways Unrealistic Expectations Destroy Your Relationships

10 Ways Unrealistic Expectations Destroy Your Relationships

“Expectations kill relationships,” writes Ann Voskamp. As I ponder her words, I remember how my marriage has died a thousand little deaths. While my outlandish expectations have harmed many relationships, my poor husband has born the brunt of my affliction.

Affliction? you ask.

Yes, affliction. Because harboring unrealistic expectations is like a disease. One that chokes the life out of a relationship. It stifles the people around you, sometimes paralyzing them because they are afraid of disappointing you, failing you, angering you.

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12 Questions to Ask Your Spouse at Least Once a Year (Free Printable!)

12 Questions to Ask Your Spouse at Least Once a Year (Free Printable!)

Years ago, my friend emailed me 10 questions for Craig and me to discuss while we were away for our anniversary. Though we have not answered them every year since then, nor reflected on our past answers each time, we pulled them out when we were in Wimberley last month. It was amazing to see both the progress we had made as individuals and as a couple since 2013 (WHOOPS) and the few areas where we still struggle a little bit (or a lot, but whatever).

Since we went away, we spent some time revamping and adding to these questions so they would enable us to focus both on where we've been and where we want to go. We thought that if these twelve questions would be helpful for us, they may be helpful for you, too. One thing we love the most about answering these questions is that it gives us an opportunity to both encourage each other about the progress we've made and affords us a way to potentially bring up some challenging facets about our marriage or personal health. We never want to stop growing.

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How Grace Moves from Theory to Reality

How Grace Moves from Theory to Reality

For me, grace was theoretical for most of my life.  While growing up, I knew God said I was loved and forgiven, but I didn’t expect to receive anything that would prove that.  I built a wall between God and myself that kept me from tangibly experiencing grace. I found out that if you don’t have expectations, then you can’t be disappointed.  If you don’t request anything of anyone, then you don’t have to face rejection.  After all, you can live happy knowing that you are loved and chosen without feeling it, right?  Well, no, not really. But, that is how I lived much of my life before I met Jen and started building a relationship with her.  

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The Meaning of Marriage: Chapter 5

The Meaning of Marriage: Chapter 5

It's no secret that we're behind on our original schedule for our The Meaning of Marriage book study. Life happens to us. It happens to you. But I am learning, even as painful as it can be, that life interrupted can still be a beautiful thing.

Take this morning as an example: Craig brought the book over to me and showed me a page from chapter 5. He pointed out the paragraph on page 152 (which actually starts on 151). 

"Which of these flaws describe me?"

His question was an invitation, one better than being invited to the ritziest of Christmas parties, not because I was gleeful about pointing out his flaws, but because he felt safe enough to ask me what they are.

To look your spouse in the eye and ask him/her to tell you what's wrong with you? That's a hard thing to do. The kicker is, he already knows what his flaws are. So why ask? Is he glutton for punishment?

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