How our story became a book...

It was April 2012 and I (Jen) was sitting on our back patio, praying. My friend had asked me to come to a speaker's/writer's conference called Speak Up in Michigan and I was trying to figure out, with my over-achieving mind, what kind of book I could possible write to justify paying to go to a writer's conference. I rattled off a few ideas in my head and then God chimed in (not audibly, but I knew these were not my thoughts): "Why don't you write about your husband's porn addiction?"

There have been probably five times I've directly told God "no." This was one of them. But I couldn't just leave it at "no" because, like most over-achieving people, I also like to please people (or God) and do what they want me to do. So, I had to justify why I couldn't possibly write about this.

Shame.

It's not just my story.

What would people think?

We have young children.

Nobody is talking about this.

That last one, though, got me thinking: if nobody is talking about this, that means all these people are still going through what we have experienced BY THEMSELVES.

And I remembered how awful that was. No one should have to go through any kind of addiction alone.

I was pretty certain I was still going to get out from under this though, because of point number 2. "It's not just my story," I said. "I'm not going to write a book outing my husband, Jesus."

"Go ask him," He replied.

Smug smile on my face (why I think I'm going to outwit God at this moment, I do not know), I go into the house and tell Craig about the conversation that had transpired only feet from him. I tell him the ridiculous idea that we should write a book about his porn addiction. Together.

He says, "Let me pray about it."

FIve minutes pass by on the clock.

"Okay. Let's do it," he says.

Smug smile erased. Terror ensued. Not really, but kinda. The kind of terror that starts in your belly because what are we getting into?

So, that's the beginning of the birth of this book. It's how it was conceived. Why do we tell you?

It's a good story. It's proof that God can work miralces (we didn't have a large group of followers and yet we were still selected by a traditional publishing company). It's proof that God still speaks to us today. It's a testament that He can use any story, that deeper healing is always possible, that we had no hidden agenda in this process—we just flew by the seat of our pants as God directed our flight pattern.

But we really tell you this just for one really important reason: You're worth it. You're worth every word we wrote (and many were edited out). You're worth every arguement over deadlines, every tear we cried in pain as we relived the past, every breath of hard conversations this process created. Yes, we went through this pretty much by ourselves and we couldn't fathom that same pattern repeating itself.

So, here's our story. It's not neat and tidy. It's not a formula for quitting porn (though there are some helpful suggestions). The stats are a little outdated (they're worse now). But our heart is on every page and God's heart for you beats loudly through the hope and restoration we share.

What He has done for us, He wants to do for you, too.

Remember the real truth: There is hope. All things are possible with Jesus. You are not alone.

Our story of freedom: Available in our store or click the image to go to Amazon.com

Our story of freedom: Available in our store or click the image to go to Amazon.com

Dealing with addiction is hard. Doing it without community? Even harder. download this free discussion leader guide that will help you create a small group that focuses on helping married couples find freedom, hope, and restoration.

Dealing with addiction is hard. Doing it without community? Even harder. download this free discussion leader guide that will help you create a small group that focuses on helping married couples find freedom, hope, and restoration.


 

We have created a Pinterest board filled with helpful articles written both by us and others who have dealt with porn addiction in their lives. Some of these article are for wives who's husbands are struggling, while others are for those of you struggling with the porn addiction itself. Keep checking back, as we add articles often! We are currently on the search for helpful articles that address porn addiction in women. Please click the red Pinterest icon or click here to go to this resource.


As some of know, I (Jen) have been a contributing author to Covenant Eyes for years now. What I love about this company is that while they have a product to sell, their sole mission is not to sell you Internet filtering. They know and understand that porn addiction will not be cured by software. Thus, they provide many FREE resources to help both protect your family from encountering porn while on the Internet and to help guide you to freedom from porn. They have numerous blog posts and e-books designed to help you have productive conversations with your family about porn, to provide practical advice for those entangled in addiction, and give support to the family members and friends of someone addicted to porn.

Want some more good news? When you click on the Covenant Eyes icon to the left, you can sign up to receive 30 days of their Internet filtering software for FREE.